Thursday, July 3, 2008

Second to Last

Zoe. Her name was given to me by my Father in Heaven one evening when we were at church. Before I was even thinking about having another baby, our pastor (Ricky Stepp of Christ Fellowship) was preaching about ZOE life; "The Life of God". And I thought; If we have another girl, that would be a great name. The LIFE OF GOD. Wow!

Zoe Victoria. Her name in it's entirety means Life Of God Victorious. I would phrase it as this: The Victorious Life of God. And she is full of LIFE. It took us until the day after she was born to settle on her name, though. Joshua just wasn't sure about her name. He thought that something else would come up, but finally he decided Zoe would be a good name, and we chose Victoria together.

She was born Aug 5 via repeat C-Section. I was praying for a natural birth, and told my doctors that those were my intentions. I waiting beyond her due date, just a few days, and was almost bullied into going through with the surgery due to a high blood pressure, and the risk I was taking to the health of my baby..... Which, looking back, was an unfair method for the doctors to use, because they made me feel as though the safest thing to do for my baby was to have the c-section, and they made me feel guilty that I would even concider any risk with having a vaginal birth after a c-section (vbac)

The recovery time was a bit longer with Zoe, but the nursing was actually MUCH easier. Zoe, found my boobie and latched on the moment I tried to nurse her. That was all it took. She ate all of the time.

When Zoe was a little over 2 months, her and I went to OHIO for my brother Nick's wedding. We flew into Pittsburgh, rented a car, and stayed for 6 days. It was so much fun, I'll always be thankful I was able to take that trip. Zoe was great, the flight was easy, the trip all together was easy since it was just me and her. I missed Kyla, and I missed Joshua, and was ready to be home after it was all over.

Because Zoe was constantly hungry, I had to supplement with her as well. She got mainly breast milk, but toward her 5 month mark, she was mainly getting formula with just a little bit of nursing. Again, emotional.

Zoe was much the same as Kyla with sleeping. By about 3 months, she was snoozing 6-8 hours at a time, and I have to say, the SECOND child is so much easier than the first. Because you know what to expect. It's more relaxing, we were not so stressed out and sleep deprived as we were with Kyla. And bringing home a baby sister for Kyla to take care of was great. It Kyla hadn't had her sweet nature, and her care taker personality, it may have been much more of a challenge. But, Kyla was jelous at all, just interested in helping.

Kyla and Zoe are 2 years and 2 months apart. Zoe is strong willed like her sister, but she is also very very silly. When I was pregnant, I remember telling Joshua; "I think she's going to be funny, I don't know why I think that, but I think she's going to be funny...." And Zoe is FUNNY! She is an easy going silly silly girl, and she was like from birth.

When Zoe was around 16 months, we found out that she, too, would be a big sister.

First Up

Kyla, our first born. Strong willed, extremely sweet and caring. We had her 3 years after we were married, and at 3 AM on June 14 she made her appearance. Full head of hair, and I mean full. Thick, black hair that never fell out, and a chubby round face that sat atop her long lean body. She was 7 lb 7 oz and 21" long. On June 12 we went in for an induction because she was a little late, and that seemed to be the "thing" that doctors thought appropriate. Induce Labor. Kyla wasn't ready to come out, and fitting to her personality today, if she's not ready to do something, she's not doing it! After a full day and a half of labor, the "professionals" decided a c-section would be the best thing to do, and so it was.

Recovery was actually short and sweet, I'd say it only took about a week. First time Mommy and Daddy were shocked to discover the challenges of a newborn. About a month of sleep deprivation made me question why people were so crazy as to CHOOSE to have any more children. But, blessing upon blessing we soon discovered that once you get into a groove, there's nothing sweeter than a sweet newborn baby.

At around 3 months, Kyla was sleeping through the night, 6-8 hours at a time. Breastfeeding was my challenge from the start. I think that being so stressed out and not feeling sure that Kyla was getting enough food really made it tougher. I was only able to nurse about 5 months, and during that time, we were supplementing with formula. It was and still is an emotionally upsetting experience because I felt like there was something wrong with me that I couldn't feed my baby the milk that God gave me to nourish her. But I understand that without the right information and with out the right guidance and support, nursing an infant is tough.

I think that the first time Kyla sat up on her own was around 7 months, and she didn't crawl until around 9 months. She walked on her own at around 13 months.

The fondest memories I have of Kyla as an infant are those of the times that she would just lay her head down on her daddy's chest and sleep so still and so relaxed. Her favorite place was snoozing on daddy's chest. She was a sweet sweet baby, mostly content and happy.

I hope to have more memories of Kyla as an infant as I post more journal entries about her. But for now, specific details are not registering in my brain.

They Call Me Mommy

I want to remember these days, I want to remember the cute words and the funnies and sillies that my girls create minute by minute in. I want to look back and laugh at how each girl's personality is so different, yet similar. And how Kyla is just like me, and Zoe is just like Joshua and Leah is the blend of all of us. And I want to be able to tell my girls stories about their child hood, both good and bad. I'd love to be able to say that my brain will soak all these memories in, and that these memories will be retained for years and years.

But this Mommy knows that my ability to retain specific details is almost non existent. Thank God for technology and blogs. I'm praying that this journal will be around for years to come. And if not, our handy dandy printer will be just fine in creating hard copy memories of my life as a Mommy.