Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Jaded

I am so jaded.

Wait? What does jaded mean, again?

It's such a common phrase. "Oh, you know..... I'm just jaded." I think I know what it means- but? - Let me just make sure:

JADED:
–adjective
1.dulled or satiated by overindulgence: a jaded appetite.
2.worn out or wearied, as by overwork or overuse.
3.dissipated: a jaded reprobate.

JADE:
–noun
1.a worn-out, broken-down, worthless, or vicious horse.
2.a disreputable or ill-tempered woman.


Words are so important. I tell my 6 year old "Whoa! Be careful what you're saying. What you say is important. Don't let any words come from your mouth unless you are CERTAIN they are true. " (and I am telling her this because she'll say things like "That music is making me cough....." (what does that mean?!) or she'll go off on a random 'talking tangent' saying things that make absolutely NO SENSE.)

What's happening here- is that my 6 year old is trying to "inherit'' my WORD VOMIT. It's a common disease that runs in my family. I grew up learning to say whatever came into my brain- and I learned that it didn't really matter if it just projectiled CRAPPY CHUNKS OF GROSSNESS all over the person I'm aiming at.

It's so much more challenging to UNLEARN something we shouldn't do than it is to learn what or how we should do something.

I don't want to use my words unwisely. I would like to use my words carefully. I would like to teach my daughter this- but- teaching is better done through ExAmPle.

Why am I such a bad example???

I am jaded!!
I'm worn out. Weired!
I'm a disreputable... ill tempered woman.

I don't want to be what I am. I want to unlearn what I've learned. And I don't want to teach (by example) this terrible weariness to my daughters. I don't want them to learn how to be 'ill tempered' word pukers.


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